I have been lost before.
Admittedly, I’ve spent much of my life as a traveling voyager, holding my breath and awaiting my ship to sink- feeling like the sea is all around me and there’s nothing beyond the horizon but more water. But instead of letting go, I kept my boat as steady as I could in the middle of the storm until I was able to sail to land.
It’s so surprising how often we underestimate how God is constantly working in our lives. Time and time again I have been reminded and yet, I still get lost and I still don’t know where to go on my journey. It’s like being in the center of a crowded room and as you scream no one even looks up. It’s foggy and vague and painful. And I hate to think that my broken heart is part of God’s plan.
I’m thankful that God has revealed what He wanted in me- pieces of who I am meant to be. A mom. A wife. A friend. A passionate human being with an enormous amount of love for all people. But I’m still an unfinished puzzle. Sometimes I’m convinced that some of my puzzle pieces are gone, hidden beneath the couch or possibly chewed by the dog.
But because I’ve been there before, waiting on the sea for someone to rescue me, I need to tell you that there is so much more to this life than just simply treading water. There’s so much more to this life then being stuck on the journey without a sense of direction.
We have a God that continues to hold us afloat even amidst our darkest and stormiest seas. We have a God that can take all that’s dead inside and reawaken our spirit. He holds every tear in the palm of His hand. He whispers through the rain and thunder, waiting for us to listen.
And time and time again when we disapprove of His plan, He continues to fight for us- all of us- even when we are among the least, the lowest and the lost. And when we feel like we’ve lost control, we don’t have to have hold it all together. We don’t have to sail alone. We can surrender, lay it at the cross, and feel the freedom.
The waiting is always the hardest part. Like driving a million miles alone without a GPS. But now I’ve found peace in the waiting, knowing that the same God who was and is and will be is waiting beside me providing clarity for the next chapter in my story. So now… I wait. But instead of getting lost this time, I will find a way to just be held. Like sitting in a coffee shop with an old friend, discussing love, life and happiness until the writing on my pages begin to fill.
Because we were all meant to fill the pages with something big. Even when we don’t know what the big is.
They went to him and woke him up. “Lord!” they cried, “Save us! We’re going to die!” He asked them, “Why are you afraid, you who have little faith?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. The men were amazed. “What kind of man is this?” they asked. “Even the winds and the sea obey him!” Matthew 8:25-27