When You Fall Asleep Hating Yourself

There will come a night, not too far away, that you’ll lie awake in bed with tears streaming onto your pillow.  You’ll wish you were different; thinner, prettier, better… or maybe you’ll wish you weren’t you at all.  I know this night will come because, I too, have deeply felt that shame, doubt, and pain.  And I think all of us have- it’s like a plague raining down on us that we cannot stop, even though we are all to blame.

On the night when these first tears roll down your face, come find me.  Let me hold you in my arms and tell you all the wonderful things you are and all the wonderful things you’ll be.  Let me tell you about your kindness, your love, your intelligence, your bravery.  I will tell you that all of these things make you beautiful.  And that your true beauty is found within your heart.  I will tell you that God doesn’t create anything that isn’t beautiful, He doesn’t make anything he doesn’t love.

You may not believe me.  Maybe you’ll roll your eyes.  But when you climb back into bed please promise me one thing:  I need you to tell yourself, “I am worthy.  I am enough.  I am me.”  Because let me tell ya something, little girl, YOU get to determine your self worth.  This outer beauty that our world has become so obsessed with will NOT get you into college, it will NOT allow you to be more loved- or even liked.  This outer beauty will NOT help you get a job and it will NOT be your success.  Because your body does not define you.

And after I place you back into your bed, wipe all of your tears away, kiss you on your forehead and send you off to Dream-land, I will cry all of my tears for you.  I will write down a thousand- no one million!- wonderful attributes that you posses.  I will pray you find strength to see past the girl in the mirror or the girl on the scale and know- AND TRULY KNOW- how perfect you are.

xoxo

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